


The Kids Aren't Alright

by Tiara_of_Sapphires



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Reylo is background, Tros fix-it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:47:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22133506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiara_of_Sapphires/pseuds/Tiara_of_Sapphires
Summary: For years, Kylo Ren thought her dead. Even covered with a Stormtrooper’s armor and her memories gone, he knew her.
Relationships: Jannah & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 7
Kudos: 56





	The Kids Aren't Alright

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, if Jannah is Lando’s kid through a tidbit in a book or interview or whatever, I’m gonna make some shitty lemons into lemonade.  
> Big thanks to Mneme and briarlily for looking this over  
> Enjoy!

Kylo Ren had forced his childhood memories to go hazy after Luke’s Temple. It was easier that way; either allowing them to fade to nothing, or coloring them with anger and mistrust.

Amongst the one of the battalions stationed at the command ship was a trooper with the designation TZ-1719. In spite of the many years, believing she was dead, he _remembered_ her. Not even decades of time would wash the impression she had on him.

Sensing her presence sent the memories washing over him.

He had first met her a month after her birth. It was during that time when Han and Leia had treated him like he was a canister of tibanna, not like the ten-year-old that he was. Whenever he called on the power inside him, it was met with distrust, as if he would immediately find a way to hurt somebody.

So, when Lando dropped the infant into his arms and just left the room, Ben hadn’t been sure if it was some sort of joke that Lando was trying to pull on him.

Ben shuffled where he stood, adjusting his arms so he didn't accidentally drop the infant on her head. He was pretty sure he would be able to catch her, but even the slight chance of that happening had his palms clammy.

It was just him and her in the living room. Lando spared no expense in his family’s home, but it seemed like he made no attempt to baby-proof any of it. Nobody would forgive him if anything happened to her.

Jannah kept moving her head and Ben had to constantly adjust to keep her neck supported. It was as if the kid _wanted_ to bash her brains in.

“Come on, Jannah, you little punk,” Ben grumbled.

He wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, but Han called him that whenever he roughhoused. It seemed appropriate.

Apparently, despite not being a month old, Jannah took offense.

Ben watched in horror as the baby’s face scrunched up and her mouth opened to give a loud wail.

He could only stand and bounce in place as Jannah wailed in his arms. He wanted to cry, too. Of course, he couldn't get this right.

Lando walked in after a couple moments, watching his daughter and godson.

“I didn’t do anything! It’s not my fault!” Ben said, as soon as he saw Lando.

Lando took Jannah from him, resting her against his chest, and gave him a look.

“Of course, you didn't do anything, Ben. She’s a baby. Babies cry. I recall you doing a lot of that when you were this big.”

Ben pouted, eyes dropping to the floor. He had been subjected to enough recountings of his early childhood in the leadup to Jannah’s birth. Now, she was the golden child, the new shiny thing that everyone fawned over. Part of him hoped that she would have powers like him, so she would be treated by her parents the same was he was treated by his.

“Hey.”

Ben looked up at Lando, who eyed him with only concern.

“You’re gonna be a good big cousin, okay? You just gotta practice.”

Jannah’s crying had calmed to whimpers. Clearly, whatever Lando was doing was working.

“See?” Lando said.

Ben nodded. “Can I try holding her like that next time?” he asked.

“Of course, little Starfighter. Now, come one, let’s get the kiddo to her mom.”

* * *

The entire axis of his world changed the moment the transmission came to Chandrila.

It was one of the rare times that Han was home and the three of them were together. Han took him on the _Falcon_ , and they even had dinner together.

They ate together, with Han insisting that they talk more about what Ben was doing than the intergalactic politics Leia sparred with on a daily basis.

Ben tried to humor him. He was so tired. He had a nightmare the night before, all shadows and a taunting voice and a chorus of screaming.

Of course, he didn't tell either of his parents about it.

Halfway through dinner, when the serving droid was in the middle of taking away their plates to serve the next course, Han’s comm beeped. It was the kind of beep that told Ben that he was going to leave for a long time again.

_Urgent. Can’t wait. Sorry, kid. This will have to wait until I return._

Ben braced himself for disappointment as Han disappeared into the adjacent room.

Both Ben and Leia turned to the door before they could even hear the loud “ _What?_ ” coming from the next room.

Something was wrong. It was the same kind of feeling he got the night the neighbor’s Loth-cat had been mangled by a wild animal and left in the garden to die. It was a sick, sour feeling that turned the food in his stomach, the kind that would leave him trembling in his bed.

It took a long time before Han returned. The food had gone cold at the table, but Ben had lost his appetite.

Ben watched as Han stepped back into the room, face pale and brow tight.

“Dad?” he asked.

Han staggered towards the table before stopping.

“A transport en route to Cloud City was attacked. Imperial fanatics.”

Ben watched as Han struggled for words. His father swallowed hard around emotion and Ben could feel the anger and sorrow as if it were his own.

“Jannah—Jannah was on board.”

Understanding came as if a bomb had gone off.

“Is she—?” Leia started. The color had drained from her face.

Ben had the same horrible thought and he wanted to be sick.

“No. They—they took her. Jannah and the two other infants on board. They slaughtered everyone else.”

Alive, but gone. Ben wasn’t sure if that was any better.

“And Mara?” Leia asked.

Lando would’ve been destroyed if daughter was taken and his wife was killed in the same breath.

“Jannah was with a nanny droid, Mara in Cloud City. That’s—that’s the only way we know she was taken.” He sat heavily in his chair. “I’ve already sent word to Chewie. We’re taking off to meet with Lando at daybreak. We’re gonna find our girl.”

There was no question about that. Of course, Han would drop everything for Jannah.

“Can I come with you?” Ben asked.

His parents told him ‘no’ in near-unison, Han firm, Leia panicked.

Ben recoiled at the force of it. “I could help. I could sense her.”

“No. I—I’m going to make arrangements with your Uncle Luke. You will join his Academy. It’s earlier than what I had hoped, but…”

He immediately felt tears of frustration build in his eyes. He wanted to take his water glass and throw it across the room. “I don’t want to join his dumb Academy. I want to stay with you.”

He pushed away from the table, storming to his room.

As soon as the door shut behind him, he flung himself on the bed and buried his face into the pillow.

_They blame you, you know._

Ben tried to push back at the angry little voice. It didn't sound quite right.

Lando called him ‘little Starfighter’, even when he was anything but little, and would sometimes let him levitate the little trinkets he had to decorate his table.

Mara would ruffle his hair and would take him to a target range. She was a great shot, not letting up even when she was close to her delivery date.

The voice sounded very convincing. Of course, if Han and Leia blamed him for everything, it only made sense that Lando and Mara would as well.

His fault.

He fell asleep with that chant in his head and tears soaking his pillow.

* * *

It was wretched weakness, these memories.

Looking at her profile in the trooper database, he knew it was true: Lando Calrissian’s daughter. Her conscription into the Stormtrooper program coincided with the day Jannah Calrissian had gone missing. Her battle stats only reinforced the conclusion. Of course, she would be the best of the best.

He wondered if the First Order knew who she was. The attack on the transport, all those years ago, had been a clearly-targeted attack. They left the ship intact, with all of the bodies still on boards, one droid left to tell the tale.

It had been the beginning of children disappearing: taken from civilian transports and raided villages.

There was a part of him that recoiled in disgust at the whole idea of it. Snoke had insisted that it was for the good of the cause. Kylo was in no place to argue against him.

On a whim, he summoned TZ-1719 to his office.

While he knew that for a Stormtrooper, the concept of being called to his office was a death knell.

Jannah was no different. The moment she stepped into the room and the door closed behind her, he knew she was afraid of him. Rightfully so, he supposed.

“TZ-1719, yes? Part of Company 77?” he drawled.

“Yes, sir.”

He nodded. “I have heard good things about you. Your maneuvers on the speeder have made you the top in your class.”

“Thank you, sir.”

There was a beat of silence. He could sense her desire to speak her mind: a rebellious streak that not even years of reconditioning could beat down.

“You wish to speak, trooper. Speak.”

Jannah started. “I—I was wondering the reason for you summoning me here, without my commanding officer present.”

Kylo wondered that as well. What was the point of bringing her here? If he were a true adherent to Snoke’s teachings, he would cut down this link to his past without hesitation.

Snoke didn’t know and he didn't need to know.

“Bucket off, trooper.”

Her hands flexed at her sides before coming up to remove her

He could see the family resemblance. She had Mara’s nose and Lando’s cheekbones. She had grown up in cruelty, when she would have grown up with loving parents and a home.

Before he could think better of it, he undid the latches of his helmet and pulled it off.

Jannah’s eyes widened slightly and she shifted in place.

He wasn’t deaf to the rumors. He knew what the troopers whispered about him in their barracks. He was the Supreme Leader’s hound, leader of a pack of shadows.

“What do you see, when you see me?” he asked.

She watched him with confusion. Of course, there would be no recognition in her eyes. Her earliest memories would have been destroyed by the reconditioning, if any remained. Memories gone, but spirit remained.

“I see a great leader, sir.”

His mouth twisted. A good liar, just like her father. It would have to do. He placed the helmet back over his head and she did the same.

“Very well, TZ-1719. You are dismissed. And I trust the particulars of our meeting shall be kept in confidence?”

Trust, but it was a command.

She nodded.

“Of course, sir. Thank you, sir.”

Jannah, the trooper, scurried out. Anger formed a pit in his stomach.

The order had come in the following week. Company 77, along with the rest of their battalion, would be deployed within the hour to Ansett Island to put down any Resistance sympathizers.

He knew that when she left, she wouldn’t come back. Whether it was by death, or something else, she would soon be far from him. He couldn't protect her then, and he couldn't protect her now.

He reached out in the Force, finding her mind with ease. He planted one thought, hoping that some part of the truth would return to her. Perhaps, one day she would be able to find her way home.

It was the only kindness he could give.

_Your name is Jannah._

* * *

* * *

* * *

When Jannah saw the hulking figure leaning against the Jedi, both ghastly white and dirtied, she remembered him.

It had been such a brief and terrifying interaction: a stormtrooper and the Supreme Leader. The memory of it had been quickly overtaken by the mutiny. To lay down her arms and leave the First Order was the basest instinct she knew.

She knew that this wasn’t her role in the galaxy. She wouldn’t kill innocents.

When the fight came again, she tried to save as many of her fellow innocents as possible. She joined her fellow ex-troopers and started a rebellion. Those who couldn't break free, those who aimed their blasters to kill, she wept for them. For the greater cause, she had to kill them.

And now, looking across the crowd to see the Supreme Leader, defected and allied with the Jedi, she felt the same pity. Something had happened. They clung to each other as if trying to become one person.

What did the Supreme Leader do to gain such an ally?

A shout, angry, cut through the crowd. The shock of his appearance in camp turned to rage.

It was met the screeching sound of a lightsaber, blue and bright, in Rey’s hand.

She puffed up, as if she would fight every single one of them to protect the man at her shoulder.

“He is a hero. He should be given a hero’s welcome,” she shouted.

That seemed to satisfy few people. Jannah could see Poe and Finn aiming their blasters, others following suit. She could also see Rose grabbing Finn’s arm, trying to train his blaster towards the ground.

Others eyed the two with unabashed rage, but did not brandish weapons against them.

“Thank you, Rey,” General Calrissian announced. “You have returned my nephew to me.”

Whispers broke out through the crowd as General Calrissian approached the duo. Jannah jolted in shock at the word. Nephew?

Rey stood firm, but still gave way for the older man.

Kylo Ren stepped forward. One hand still gripped Rey’s shoulder, looking to her for support.

It took mere moments for General Calrissian to stand in front of Kylo Ren, but there was a pause where neither of them moved towards the other.

The younger man broke first. His expression crumpled a little as he pressed his head against General Calrissian’s shoulder. His hands came up to embrace Kylo Ren, as if he were a lost relative who had finally come home.

Jannah could feel something that had tightened in her chest relax, filling her with a strange sort of relief.

There was an exchange of words between the two men, unheard by the rest of the crowd.

Kylo Ren lifted his head from Lando’s shoulder to look out. He lifted a finger and pointed, directly at Jannah.

Jannah froze as Lando and Rey’s eyes followed, locking to her face.

The hand fell back to Kylo Ren’s side and his face twisted in a wince. General Calrissian nodded in understanding as he backed away from the injured man, allowing Rey to support him once more

“I am taking him to my tent,” Rey announced. “If anyone takes any action against him, they will answer to me.”

They staggered away and the crowds parted before them. No one dared shout or make a move towards them. They knew better than to fight those who vanquished the Sith.

When the two disappeared behind the trees, the rest of the Resistance resumed their post-battle celebrations and clean up.

Jannah shifted in the crowd. She was part of them, not quite part of them. She lost many of her comrades in that battle, though their efforts brought them victory. She would mourn them all, once things quieted down.

She blinked as the Resistance General stepped into view.

“I thought I would meet our new allies in this fight.”

Jannah straightened her spine in respect. Some things the First Order thought couldn't be shaken off so easily.

“It was a great battle, General Calrissian. You led us to victory.”

He smiled and the corners of his eyes wrinkled.

“Please, call me Lando. That was some maneuvering you did on that Star Destroyer. I have never seen anything like it.”

She nodded, ducking her head.

“It was good to use what the First Order instilled in me against them. Now, I don't have to fear them anymore.”

Lando clapped her shoulder.

“What’s your name, kid?”

“Jannah,” she said.

Lando Calrissian watched her with bright eyes. His eyes roamed over her face, as if to catch every detail.

“You know, I lost a daughter to the First Order, just as Han Solo had lost his son.”

She didn't know fully what he meant. Did the First Order kill his child, or was she taken to become a weapon, like Jannah was?

“I—I’m sorry for your loss. I’m glad we could avenge her today.”

He ducked a little close, voice softer still. “Her name was Jannah, too.”

She blinked at him, not quite understanding. Lando grinned and she could swear she saw the glimmer of tears in the corners of his eyes as he swung her around with an arm across her shoulders.

“Come on, Jannah. We have a lot to talk about.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!  
> [Here’s my Tumblr! Feel free to follow!](https://tiaraofsapphires.tumblr.com/)  
> All feedback is appreciated! Comments/kudos feed me and definitely motivate me to write more stories!  
> Cheers!


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